who's gonna cry for the little girl ?

man iono how I'm feeling right now . I wanna cry but then again I wanna still be that tough girl ya'll know/knew me as . soo many emotions, first starting off with the abuse I put on myself . brown skin girl = think thass the first song I've heard w.a guy actually taking a liking for the dark kind . it's always been light skin that or redbone this, you so black you look burnt . proud of my skin color, I calls it sexual . fan of someone who only dates/ attracted to light skins [ wtf thoe waka ], won't EVEN go there thoe .

dramatic experiences that I wouldn't dare talk about to the internet, why ? well for one it's not something I actually like to tell the next . and 2, it's quite embarrassing to admit that it happened . but yeah it left me with a huge bruise . with a certain level of hatred for men period . don't take that as me saying I'm attracted to girls, cusz this ain't even that . but you can say it's a reason I'm 17 in these parts still clinging onto my scarred virginity .

falling in and out of love, afraid to even smile, rejecting the few guys that even tried to intervene . mug on my face that just plainly says fuck the world . known to scare off dudes with the scowl of mines . I'm hurting . I don't know where, but it's there . I can have this but I still won't have that . and that is happiness as a whole . live life to the fullest but in all actuality I'm living it by the minute . I can't even put into words on how I really feel, I wish I could . I wish I knew how to let it out, how to get rid of it . because it'd all be gone . right now, right this instant .

17 years I've been teaching myself to live with my flaws of everything . nothing will be perfect and nothing will even be close to ohkay, until this little girl inside of me escapes .


, thass just real shxt