, I'm sorry to say but you just never were there . sex, drugs, you, and a couple of my friends all ruined my life . I hate how my life had to turn out . why couldn't I have just kept my virginity that night ? why did I have to believe so hard that you actually cared for me ? why did I have go off of what my so called friends told me ? why couldn't I have been smart enough ? && those select few questions that I'll always ask myself , " why her ? what does she have that I don't ? why me ? why did you lie ? " . I don't know my worth && I don't want to move on . I want you, because you just fed me so much . You gave me so much hope and you let me down with everything in you like I had always have been nothing to you . I was starting my own count down and the days were getting harder everyday, but I was committed . then you came back into my life with intentions of fucking and leaving me yet again . when the fuck will I learn ? we were not meant to be . I'm walking around here now gap legged and bleeding, but to no prevail, have I heard from Loudorion ? pssh nah ! where are you when I need you ? oh, oh thass right ! you're single . yet you're still asking me who pussy this is, and how it's the best that you've ever had . mhmmmmm , still talking to mad bitches, but you spending nights with me ? you just want MY love back ? oh, oh ohkayyy, I thought I was mistaken for a minute . I am talking about Loudorion Devonte Johnson right ? awww, yeah ohkayyy . ( nods ] .
so this countdown is starting right the fuck back over . no more sex, no more drugs, no more Lou, && when I get my new number it won't be passed on to you . fuck everything that you're made up to be, you've consciously hurt me over and over again the same fucking way . I don't understand why, and I'll always wonder why you just couldn't be there for me like I was for you . this is yet one of the hardest lessons in life that I've ever had to learn . a simple test, that I fail every time I get a fresh, new start . you always come back and put me right back in square one . I'm just gonna leave you be altogether . I won't hit you back when you text, I won't answer your calls, I won't add you on Facebook or Twitter, I won't do it anymore . So sick of saying the same fucking thing, I don't even believe in myself anymore . this shit is hard && I really want it to prosper . I just wanna move on . God please lead me in the right direction, I'm so tired of this road I've been taking for the past year . Lord, help me . I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of paining, I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of hoping, I'm tired of wishing, I'm tired of dreaming, I'm tired of needing, I'm tired of being tired of everything . please help me , somebody pray for me . I need the strength, because I just feel like giving up on everything . life included . #resultsoflosingyourselfinaman .
