( sigh ] I don't understand what is it with her that you love so much . I don't understand what is it in me that you can't stand . I don't understand why you're dragging me along for the ride . I don't understand why you're hurting me . just let me go , why are you still holding onto me when you already know what and who you want ? why are you constantly doing this to me ? && you constantly accuse me of this and that, and it's only because you're out doing it . with everything in me , I hate you so much for hurting me again . I don't understand why you're not satisfied . whatever you asked me to do , I talked shit, but I did it .
I put you first, everything in my life was suited to fit you ! I quit dancing once because you were mad that I could never make your games . I gave you my virginity and I wasn't even ready for that yet . I gave you my heart when you didn't even ask for it . when you're going through something, I'm there for you like no other . when you weren't happy, I wasn't happy . but everything is about her right ? is she the reason you don't come over like you used to ? is she the reason you lie ? is she the reason that you can't love me ? she's met your moms yo ! she's making it pretty apparent that it's you that she's subtweeting on Twitter . wtf is she doing that I don't ? wtf does she have that I don't ? why her ?
some days you make me question my existence . if I were to leave this Earth, how bad would it hurt you ? would it make everything easier for you and her to be happy ? ( sighs ] I feel now as if I need you, and it's only because you've told and promised me so much . you loved me once upon a time, I swear to God you did . this is gonna be extremely hard, but it's something I'm gonna have to endure to better myself . I'm too young to be stressed about lil relationships that don't mean a thing .
celibacy is a practice I'm willing to try for the sake of myself . I'm constantly beating myself up, because I wouldn't be in this predicament if I would have never thought that sex would/could keep you . I'm not willing to try another relationship anytime soon , I am bitter . That I am . I don't wanna love ever again , it just hurts too bad . my head is hurting && I have a migraine from crying tears of anger, hurt, and pain . I had a breakthrough the other night && I don't think that I'm back together yet ......
