never again settling for less .

as I'm sitting here crying, lemme tell you why . in a relationship you're supposed to feel loved at all times, even through the arguments . but here in this relationship that I've been in, I've been told before that I was a waste of time, so just from that you can see that it wasn't a healthy relationship . I'm not gonna sit here and lie and say that it didn't bother me, because it hurt me to my soul . I love him that much that I substituted it for his way of showing me love though . I ignored a lot of things, because of my fear of being heartbroken . I've honestly been through hell and back during this whole relationship stage . I'm tired of relationships && I'm tired of not being appreciated . he was my best friend . my whole world revolved around him . everything I did, he was somewhere in that thought process . what did I do wrong before I actually did do something that was wrong ? no girl should ever have to feel unworthy of someone, or lower than someone . I was treated like the step child, I came second to everything . but I still love him like I was first in everything && like he treated me like the Queen . I wish things could have been different, but these tears let me know otherwise . I don't like to cry, I don't like to be sad . I like to laugh . I like to smile . I like to be happy . I like to make people happy, && majority of the time, I'm not even happy . I hope he grows to learn how to treat women, how to love, && I know he'll make a great husband && father some day . but who am I to say ? I don't know anything at all .